My friend is dating a bad guy
That’s something much harder for her to rationalize around!
If she’s had other boyfriends in the past who also treated her badly, point that out too, that the current chump is just one more link in a chain of attempts to rectify something in the past that can never be cured by a man in her present.
He’s the absent father who was never there to tuck her in, the boozer whose self-pity was his excuse for never keeping a job.
And if her past traumas have scarred her with feelings of low self-esteem or self-worth, she may be living out Groucho Marx’s rule of not wanting to join any club “that would have me as a member!
Sometimes your friends mean well, but they make little comments sometimes that really grate on you.
If you’ve gotten your friend to admit the relationship is harmful, but she’s still on the fence about whether to actually leave, it’s important to assuage her fears about the barriers to exiting the relationship.
“Unhappy people may not end their relationship because forces other than love, fun, and satisfaction are keeping them together,” says Amy Strachman, a research scientist at e Harmony Labs.
His negative behavior may be at some level the exact thing that attracts her to him.
Use Psychology If your otherwise smart friend is letting her life get ruined by a parasitic loser, it’s likely because this monster in some way fills a dark void in your friend’s past, replacing it with an ugly but otherwise manageable present.
It’s not the worst idea in the world to wait until things are official before introducing your guy to your girls. It’s an unfortunate reality of friendship, but sometimes your friends get jealous of you, and the #1 thing to be jealous about is your love life. Your relationship is supposed to be about you and your boyfriend, and your friends shouldn’t be all that involved.