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the months are going by too quickly when years ago I never thought time was moving fast enough or at all.I feel like nothing is going to happen if I continue living in this house but I still have fears that I can't seem to conquer. although I have the time and energy to continue writing right now I feel like I'm not conveying the message I want to in the way I want to convey it so I'm going to stop while I'm ahead...

I also met someone amazing there, she's the girl I've been contrasting my life with, when I say she has lived I'm not exaggerating she has lived 50 times the life I have lived, she and I are the same age so it's easier to contrast our lives, she's been to so many parties, built so many social connections, had so many experiences and built so many neural connections and raised(in) a child....

I have regrets about it, I have a lot of regrets and I hate that I have regrets because you can't go back and change things.

Another thing I realized today is that I still have a very chronic case of fear of abandonment, many of the coworkers I came in with or who were there when I started are leaving or have left...

all I know is that since starting it I've been dealing with brain fog like I experience when I take l-glutamine, I'm unsure if this is a reaction I'm having because it's working or if it means I should stop taking it because it's doing nothing.

I know that I've been having nothing but positive results from the collagen and probiotic supplements I've been taking, I added the bone broth because I wanted to add extra healing properties to my efforts at healing my leaky gut so that I can fix my life.

and she's just full of this energy, it's an energy I've never seen before, it's happiness and joy...

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