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Asking these questions at an early stage can be beneficial to both parties, if your online dating goals aren’t compatible then perhaps you need to look elsewhere.
Send out a first message that simply introduces yourself as someone who finds them interesting.
Talk like you would on a real “date”, start off chatting as if you were meeting over a cup of coffee and getting to know one another - which in effect you are (minus the coffee).
It’s important to find out at this stage why your new sex interest has joined a dating site.
Is she/he looking for a long-term relationship or just a casual encounter?
Are they dating other people as well, or do they prefer exclusivity?
This is especially true for men approaching women, as even openly sexual women can often be turned off by the mere suggestion of anal intercourse.